PAYSON'S BIRTH STORY
This is probably going to be quite lengthy! I apologize in advance.
Payson made his arrival at 39 + 1 weeks weighing 7 pounds, 2 ounces and 20 inches long. His birth was VERY unexpected. I was told basically my whole pregnancy from everyone that first time moms are almost always past their due date so even though I knew he could come at any moment towards the end, I really did think I’d be past 40 weeks when he came.
The ironic thing is I posted this picture with this caption the day before having no clue he’d be in my arms less than 24 hours later.
"39 weeks & no signs of labor happening anytime soon. Little guy is snug as a bug in there still!"
Looking back I wonder if my body had been prepping and I just didn’t realize it. The day before I had some slight discharge (sorry TMI) which was something new. A few days before I also started breaking out really bad. Pregnancy was amazing for my skin so this was also a change. Those two things could be completely coincidental and random but I do wonder if my hormones were starting to shift which caused those two symptoms. I’m not really sure! My 39 week appointment was on Tuesday and I thought it was strange but my mom wanted to drive me to it. I didn’t understand why because due to COVID she wouldn’t be allowed in but she said she just didn’t want anything to happen with me in the car by myself. I guess she had some sort of intuition and she was afraid I’d start labor in the car on my own! Other than what I noted above, I had no signs of labor happening soon. I did my normal 40 minute walk and felt really great the day before. Other than my swollen feet I really didn’t have any issues while pregnant. I kept waiting to start feeling really bad to signal I was maybe coming closer to labor but that just never happened.
I think it’s funny that I had been eating my dates and drinking my red raspberry leaf tea since 36 weeks. I was eating 4 dates a day and drinking two cups of tea. Well on Tuesday I decided to increase those since I was coming closer to my due date so I ate 5 dates and had 3 cups of tea… I’ll credit those small increases for helping prep my body. 😛
Tuesday night I had a hard time falling asleep- unusual for me- I finally fell asleep but woke up at 2:45 a.m. with what felt like period cramps. At first I didn’t think much of it. They went away but then about 15 minutes later it happened again. I didn’t feel any Braxton Hicks my whole pregnancy so I googled what they should feel like because I thought it might be those.
From about 2:45-5:30 a.m. the cramps came and went but they were about 15 minutes apart. I finally decided to text my midwife, doula and birth photographer at 5:30 just to give them a heads up something might be happening. I texted them and then I got up to go to the restroom and had my bloody show so I then realized this might be actual labor! I texted them all back to give them that update and they all concluded I was likely in early labor and I should try to rest and keep them updated.
I figured if today was the day I should eat a good breakfast so I texted my mom to ask her to come help and make me something as I was sort of struggling at this point. I also wanted her at the house because my plan was to labor at home as long as possible so she came over and made me a nice breakfast (which came in handy because I needed that fuel!). As I was eating the contractions were starting to become more frequent and longer. This was around 7 a.m. From 7 a.m.-9 a.m. things were definitely getting more intense. I was tracking my contractions on an app and I wasn’t really getting much of a break in between them.
My midwife said I could come to the birth center whenever and they would check me. I wanted to stay at home as long as possible so I told them I’d just keep trying to stay at home. That didn’t last long! 😆
I was having to stop and fully breathe through each contraction and they were coming every few minutes so I wasn’t really getting breaks at all. I was doing a lot of walking around and when one would come I’d just have to stop and take deep breathes and completely focus. I tried to sit on the toilet for a few contractions and that didn’t help as much as I had hoped so I just kept standing during them. I was using an app to track them and finally I had to just give my phone to my mom because they were coming so frequently and I couldn’t even keep my eyes open to hit the start/stop button.
At this point I started to get a little scared. I was very much unafraid of birth and labor because I had really mentally and physically prepared beforehand but in that moment I thought oh goodness, what have I done?! I was prepared to deliver at the birth center unmedicated and I knew there was no way out of that now! I also thought I was in for several more hours of this and that scared me. I tried to remain calm because freaking out wasn’t going to help but it was hard not to be a little afraid once the pain came.
At 9 a.m. my doula called me and I said I was at a point where I needed her so she said she was going to finish up with another client and then head to my house and she’d be there around 11 a.m. When I heard that I thought there is NO way I’m making it until 11. I hung up with her and by 9:30 I thought I needed to get to the birth center ASAP. I was in full on active labor. I still didn’t know what I was in for though. Everyone says first time moms have long labors so I was thinking this would be all day and I just needed to get to the birth center to get more comfortable. They had a tub so I there so I thought I would just feel better if I could get in some water.
Corey had gone to work that morning for a few hours because again, I thought I was going to labor ALL day and I had my mom with me so I thought I’d be in a completely bearable mode while he was at work. He works literally 5 minutes from the house so I didn't think it would be a big deal because he could get home quickly once we were ready to go. My mom calls to tell him he needs to get home asap and we need to leave…. and his phone goes straight to voicemail! So then we’re in a panic.
I started to feel the urge to push and told my mom she just needed to get me there STAT! Luckily we had most of our bags packed so we grabbed a few things and since we couldn’t get a hold of Corey we just left without him. We hopped in the car and my mom ran red lights and sped to get me there! 😲 My doula called me en route and she talked me through contractions on the phone. I do NOT recommend being in active labor/transition in the car. 😜100% not a good idea! Ha It was very painful to be sitting in the car and panicking about feeling like I needed to push and thinking my baby was going to be born on the highway! Looking back I now know I was in transition then and I started to want to push. It was weird I went from breathing through contractions to my body just feeling the urge to push involuntarily. I heard this would happen but to experience it was so strange.
We were both frantically calling Corey on the way and his phone just kept going to voicemail so then I’m freaking out thinking Corey is going to miss his son’s birth! I was texting the photographer as well to tell her to head to the birth center and she had no clue it’d be so fast so she was frantically trying to get herself together to get there as well.
My mom finally called my dad to tell him to call Corey’s work and tell him to get his booty outta there!
We got to the birth center around 10:00 ish probably and my mom drops me off at the front and I basically just run in and they were fully prepared and waiting for me! They got me back to the room and said they were going to check me. I laid down and was checked and I just kept saying I felt like I needed to push and I heard another midwife ask the one who checked me how far along I was and this was the response I heard, “ she’s fully there- she’s ready to push”. I have never been more relieved to hear that but at the same time, nobody from my support team was there except my mom! I couldn’t believe I was fully dilated and ready to go! I was so afraid I was going to get there and only be like 5 cm or something.
My mom parked the car and came in and I was asking her where Corey was. My dad got a hold of him but once he left work he had to go by the house still because the car he took to work wasn’t the one with the car seat and a few other items we packed for birth but he was on the way finally! My doula and birth photographer were also on the way.
They asked me to try not to push. Well, if you’ve been in labor you know, you can’t tell a mom who wants to push NOT to push. They were just trying to calm me down and keep me from pushing until at least Corey got there. In that moment I was cursing his name because I knew I couldn’t birth his child without him there but I couldn’t keep my body from pushing with each contraction. (For some reason, service was TERRIBLE that day which is why Corey’s phone kept going to voicemail… not a good day for that! Next baby there will be no going to work on the day I go into labor! 😜)
After what felt like ages Corey and my doula finally made it and I could start pushing. I was so sad because my photographer wasn’t there so I threw my phone at my mom and just said take pictures!
At this point I was still on my back on the bed so I started pushing and holy cow... the most intense thing ever. I dreaded each contraction because I knew it was going to be so painful and I was going to have to push with all I had. I pushed on my back for a while and I knew I needed to get into a better position because I needed gravity in my favor. As I researched labor while pregnant and how I wanted to give birth I learned that being on your back isn’t the best. Think about going potty # 2— it would be a lot harder to do on your back, right? Well, same concept here. You don’t want to be in a position where you aren’t working with gravity.
One of the midwives suggested trying to roll me over on my side with my leg up… that lasted all of one contraction because it hurt SO bad and I felt like I couldn’t push efficiently that way. They wanted me to get up on my knees on the bed and lean over Corey and while I knew I needed to get up and move to a better position, nothing sounded worse than getting up from that bed in that moment. I somehow managed to do it though. We pushed for a while in that position and this is where it got really intense.
To say I was sweating is an understatement. 😬 Anyone close to me was likely getting flung with my sweat. I was drenched, tired, hot and frustrated that I was still in pain and pushing. My doula is a literal angel because she fanned me and put my hair up when it fell and constantly kept hydrating me and encouraging me.
A side note— at a certain point I started hearing camera shutters so I knew my photographer had made it and I was so incredibly happy! I basically had my eyes closed the majority of the time so I was oblivious to who was coming in and out.
After pushing on the bed they suggested I move to the birthing stool to hopefully help finally get him out. Again, I knew I needed to move but didn’t want to. They all helped me get down to the birth stool and I sat on it with Corey behind me holding me up. I pushed and pushed and each time my midwife was saying I was doing good and she could see his head coming out!
I just kept saying, “I can’t do it, I can’t do it. It hurts. I just want him to come out or I just want him out of me” and everyone just kept encouraging me. At one point they asked if I wanted a mirror down there so I could see his little head as I pushed to maybe help give me that final oomph to get him out. In theory this sounded great but in that moment I didn’t want to see it because I thought I’d be scared if I saw what was happening to my body down there. They said I could feel him though so I did reach down at one point and I could feel his head so close so I knew he was almost there! It was so surreal to literally feel the top of his head just right inside my body!
I continued to push and after what felt like a whole lifetime of pain, he emerged and it was the most magical moment of my life. All of my pain immediately went away when they put him in my arms.
I pushed for a total of two hours and it was by far the HARDEST thing I have ever done but it was so worth it.
I sat on the birth stool and held Payson while I delivered the placenta. I wasn't sure if this would hurt or not but honestly it was just weird and slimy. 😳 It didn't hurt at all, it just kinda slid out. I kept my placenta so it was placed in a cooler and I brought it home. (I'll write about that experience later. I had mine encapsulated.)
Right after birth we did skin to skin and didn’t do any of his newborn screenings until about an hour after birth. We also delayed clamping his cord until it had stopped pulsing.
We relaxed, got his first feeding in, took a nap and we got to go home five and a half hours after birth. We left at 5:30 pm!
Some random thoughts-
I now understand why I’ve heard people say labor is hard work, but not overly painful. I had NO clue what the pain was going to feel like and while it was painful, the contractions at least were not so unbearable that I thought I was going to die. I mean I basically made it all the way to 10 cm without even knowing it. I just kept thinking I was in some mid-stage and that it was going to get WAY worse but come to find out, I was already going through the worst part without knowing! I will say pushing absolutely sucked though. 👎 That was the hard part for me! That is where the real work came in.
I have no clue when my water broke. Corey said he heard the midwives talking at some point about it breaking but I was completely oblivious to that so I have no clue.
Midwives and doulas are sincerely angels.
My doula encouraged me the whole time and literally put a straw in my mouth and fanned me and comforted me and even Corey to make sure he was able to support me and she held my legs and literally did all the things to help me as much as she could. 100% recommend having a doula during birth. They are magical! I don’t know what I would’ve done without her there.
My midwives are equally as angelic. My main midwife who was in charge of things for my birth that day literally didn’t leave my body the whole time. She had olive oil and warm compresses on my body the WHOLE time. I cursed her at the time but she massaged and stretched me the whole time I was pushing. It hurt so bad but she was doing what needed to be done to help get Payson out and she coached me through pushing and knew what needed to be done to get him out!
I didn’t do continuous monitoring during labor. They checked Payson’s heart rate multiple times during those two hours and I never felt unsafe for him. There was one point during the end where his rate got down some and they kept having to remind me to take slow deep breathes to make sure he was getting a good oxygen flow. I knew if anything was going south they would immediately do what needed to be done. I was in good hands.
Fun fact- the “birth stool” I actually had him on is really a disguised squatty potty! 😂 So now I can say I had Payson on a poop stool. haha You would never know it though because they have it covered so nicely.
All modesty goes out the window at birth. I am such a modest person normally but in that moment I didn’t care who saw what part of me! I was also making noises that I would not ever make in my normal life! In that moment though, none of that matters at all. Also, birth workers are not even phased by that so they really don’t even care anyway.
I had my whole bag packed with my oils and other things to help me get through contractions and had playlists ready to go and I got to the birth center and literally didn’t use any of that! No time for that once I got there! You can’t always predict birth. I’m glad I was prepared though!
I was fortunate and didn’t have any nausea or fever or anything which I think can be common during labor. I am so glad I had eaten a good breakfast that morning because I needed nourishment. I drank my electrolyte drink while pushing and that really helped me.
From first contraction to having Payson in my arms was just shy of 10 hours which is crazy I think for a first birth! I was really expecting way longer.
If you’re considering doing an unmedicated birth— DO IT! Seriously I couldn’t recommend it more. Not everyone has the desire to do it this way which is totally fine but if it’s something you want to do but you’re just scared— don’t be!! Now that I’m on the other side I can say I am so happy I did it!
I didn’t feel any tearing. I had a second degree tear and required like 3-4 stitches. I think two things that helped it not be any worse were 1. I did perineum massages at home starting at like 36 weeks. Yes, it felt weird to do them but I think it helped stretch me a little before. And 2. As I said above, the whole time I pushed my midwife had olive oil and was stretching me out the whole time. I feel like without those two things, I’d have a much worse tear!
One of the reasons I wanted a birth center birth was because I knew I would be able to go home shortly after and not have a hospital stay. I gave birth at 12:30 pm and we left at 6:00 pm and it was SO nice to be home after that crazy day and not in a random place.
That was VERY lengthy! I’m sure I forgot something but I think I covered most of the important details! I feel so proud of myself for making it through birth and I’m so happy we were able to capture this incredibly special time.
Welcome to our world, Payson! I wouldn’t have had you come in any other way. 💙
